Apr. 6th, 2010

I'm going to be sharing recipes here from now on. My first recipe is cornflower-tobacco soup. I found this recipe in an old cookbook that was subsequently confiscated by the South African police in 1981. I had only made the recipe twice before losing the cookbook and no one has acknowledged its existence since that, not even the friend who had given it to me. I have done my best to reconstruct it from memory. This soup gets better and better every time you try to make it and fail, though you may grow tired of the exasperation of always failing to create something so basic as a soup.

Cornflower-Tobacco Soup

Ingredients:
6 red potatoes, finely chopped
1 tbsp. habanero peppers, minced with dread
1 apple, cut in a hasty and diffident spiral cut
1 quail egg
1 dinosaur egg
1 tsp. the tears of a heartbroken soldier
1 gallon chicken stock, toxic
salt to taste

Taste salt. If salt is refreshing on your tongue like a long-awaited trip to the ocean, then now is not the time to attempt this recipe; wait until later. If the salt tastes bitter, too much, like you were just on the wrong end of some malicious fraternity dare, then you must proceed. Judge by first instincts and do not second-guess yourself. Such is the nature of tasting salt.

With minced peppers, spell out along wax paper the name of your beloved. Weep.

Return dinosaur egg to museum with apologies. If those in the museum doubt your sincerity, dab face with soldier's tears to show your remorse. Otherwise add tears to chicken stock.

Fry potatoes, apple, and quail egg in a broad, flat pan made of brass, stolen from your enemies. Keep frying until all ingredients are burnt and the pan is ruined, then scrape remains into chicken stock along with peppers. Once all ingredients are mixed up and forgotten individuals, stop to consider what went wrong and what you could have done differently.

This soup will taste in equal measures of cornflower and tobacco, though of course it contains neither of those things because this recipe was written in California and here, we know that tobacco is somehow morally unacceptable yet strangely harmless by comparison. This soup is a dirty habit; serve only when in a mood for confessions and nostalgia, otherwise keep it secret.

Serves for two. Can also be served chilled, but we make no guarantees.

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stunningflowermachine

May 2012

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