DNA Pie

Aug. 1st, 2010 09:22 pm
[personal profile] stunningflowermachines
Usually, people have deoxyribonucleic acid in tiny amounts in the nucleus of every cell, right? But it's an acid. It's a substance, not some abstract free-floating information like the secret of human potential or something. If you extract it and collect it, you should be able to get enough of it that you could fill a measuring cup with the acid. I am guessing it would taste sour and not at all cannibalistic, but that's not the point. The point is this: my recipe for DNA pie. Try it. Note that if you eat a pie made with virus DNA you will probably get very sick and if you eat a pie with radioactive spider DNA you might get great powers and subsequently great responsibilities. I don't know whether you'll become immortal if you eat a pie made with the DNA of the Comte de St. Germain. Try it out and let me know!

DNA Pie

Ingredients:
5 egg yolks, beaten but not defeated
1 (14 ounce) can sweetened condensed milk
1/2 cup deoxyribonucleic acid
1 (9 inch) prepared graham cracker crust

Preheat oven to 375 degrees Farenheit, or preheat to 50,000,000 degrees Celsius and destroy the planet. Your choice. I say save the metric temperatures and save the world, but it's totally your call. Anyway, combine the egg yolks, sweetened condensed milk and deoxyribonucleic acid. Mix well. No, better than that. Mix really, really well. This could lead to excellence or serious injury, so the least you could do is spend a week or two doing nothing but mixing. Pour into unbaked graham cracker shell. Stop to wonder if you are doing something terrible, and whether you can forgive yourself afterwards. Shake your doubts off and go back to work. Bake in preheated oven for 15 minutes. Allow to cool.

Serves eight immortals, one superhero, or thirty thousand pie-eating radioactive spiders. Do not dilute! OK!

on 2010-08-03 04:43 am (UTC)
pennypyro: (Default)
Posted by [personal profile] pennypyro
my own secret heart? how did you get the password for that????!

on 2010-08-02 11:43 pm (UTC)
secretagentmoof: (Default)
Posted by [personal profile] secretagentmoof
Sadly, because they specifically recommend against foods high in DNA for people with gout, I'll have to abstain.

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