Molasses with Robots

Most molasses/robot recipes I have seen use very tiny robots that attack your taste buds and digestive systems with nanoscopic lasers. I think the idea is to trigger your nerves in extremely precise ways to maximize enjoyment. This molasses/robot recipe is different. Every robot inside the molasses is at least the size of a tractor.

 

I first tried this recipe at a secluded cottage restaurant near Cape Cod. I ordered a bowl of oatmeal with molasses for breakfast, and nearly choked to death. The chef felt so guilty he gave me his recipe and then quit his profession, refusing to prepare any food or robots ever again. He still maintained a restaurant, but after that they only served fruits that the staff had recently picked from a tree.

 

Molasses with Robots

 

Ingredients:

3 cups blackstrap molasses

15,000,000 tons robots, assorted

1 pad butter

 

Using assorted tricks with mirrors, magnifying glasses, sloping walls and perspective, shrink down robots so that they will fit in molasses. Heat molasses to a slow, ominous boil, and pour robots in. Throw butter at anyone who tries to interfere with your plans.

 

Serve over oatmeal or freshly picked fruit.