Apr. 7th, 2010

I first had this cinnamon water a lemonade stand in Poughkeepsie, Illinois. The owner of the lemonade stand was the most corrupt and vicious 5-year-old entrepeneur I've ever seen. He had no remorse selling me cinnamon water and claiming that it was lemonade, but when I caught him in his deceptive trade, I blackmailed this recipe out of him in exchange for keeping quiet when the police came around asking question.

Cinnamon Water

2 quarts of fresh water
1 tbsp. cinnamon, powdered (not fresh)

Do not mix cinnamon and water, because you'll just get some water with cinnamon floating on the surface and we'll all just feel a little bit more embarrassed by that.

Tell the water that you are sending it away to a kung fu monastery across the globe, where it will learn the great secrets of movement and power from the Grandest of Masters. However, do not actually do so -- instead, put the water on a motorcycle and ride around Northern California for a while. Since the water lacks eyes, ears, and functional neurology, the water will be unable to tell the difference, and in this lack of difference comes mastery. Return the water to your home, now a kung fu master.

Separate out and name each grain of powdered cinnamon. Take a photograph of each and enlarge it, then use your preferred image editing software to draw a distinct face on each grain of each powdered cinnamon. Be sure that each one has its own facial features, emotional expression, and so on. Care about each grain, separately. Talk to them. Listen to them. Lose a grain a cinnamon and feel regret and loss, which will make you appreciate the other grains with all the more intensity.

Then and only then, stir the cinnamon into the water. It will still be some water with cinnamon floating on the surface, but you'll have too much invested in the whole thing to admit it.



May 2012

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